In the wake of a horrifying kidnapping, Clint must go Jared-less for this week’s episode of Alcohollywood! Joined by grizzled detective (and previous guest) Max and special guest, comedian Kris Flanagan, the trio attempt to keep Jared alive by enduring and drinking to The Watcher, the 2000 serial killer thriller starring James Spader and Keanu Reeves (who was under duress for the making of the film, his signature literally having been forged on a contract)!
This film, in which grizzled ex-cop Spader is chased in Chicago by a serial killer he unsuccessfully chased in his old job, feels like the try-hard little brother of Se7en, with none of the screenwriting savvy or directorial style to make it really work. Director Joe Charbanic (who clearly only directed shitty MTV music videos before this) employs every horrible directorial choice you could imagine, from stuttering frames over half the movie to strange flashes of white and film negative, leading to one of the ugliest movies we’ve seen on the show. However, we’ve got some liquid encouragement to help you through this fascinating failure with our custom cocktail and drinking rules!
We’ve also got some great Alcohollywoood fanart for this film, courtesy of fan (and mailbag submitter for this film) Louisa Giffard – click the link to see it!
LISTEN HERE OR DOWNLOAD:
THIS EPISODE’S DRINK: Griffin’s Watchtower
1 part applejack
2 parts Irish whiskey
1 part apple juice
1 part limoncello
2 parts cranberry juice
1 tsp brown sugar
Dash, black walnut bitters
Dash, vanilla tincture
Combine ingredients in shaker with ice and shake vigorously. Pour straight into Glencairn whiskey glass and serve.
DRINKING RULES FOR THE WATCHER:
- Whenever the screen flashes white or goes into negative frames
- Any time a character answers a phone
- Every time James Spader pulls out his gun, whether justified or no
FINISH YOUR DRINK WHEN:
James Spader gives a long-winded monologue and ends it with “Time’s up.” (The second time, not the first time this happens. Or both, who are we to judge?)
Join us next week as we saddle up for the 1980s Western Silverado!
