Happy Valentine’s Day from all of us at Alcohollywood! In lieu of our regularly scheduled programming, our friends Julia and Todd join us to take on the 2009 Nia Vardalos vanity project I Hate Valentine’s Day! In this tragic misfire, the My Big Fat Greek Wedding star plays a patently psychotic florist whose strict five-date system blows up in her face in the wake of a fling with a charming, down-to-earth restauranteur (John Corbett, her co-star from Greek Wedding). The humor falls flat, Vardalos’ personality is grating, and the cast is full of obnoxious comic relief characters who are given no inner lives except in relation to Vardalos’ Genevieve. Seriously, this film looks like it was shot in a facsimile of New York City made on a different planet – it’s worth at least one painful watch, with the help of our custom cocktail and drinking rules!
LISTEN HERE OR DOWNLOAD:
THIS EPISODE’S DRINK: I Hate “I Hate Valentine’s Day” Day
2 parts vanilla-infused vodka
1 part Kinky vodka liqueur
2 parts ginger ale
Combine and stir. Garnish with strawberry.
DRINKING RULES FOR I HATE VALENTINE’S DAY:
- Whenever the dialogue comes to a pregnant pause
- Every time Nia Vardalos flashes her psychotic, manic grin
- Whenever you see wine/wine glasses on screen
FINISH YOUR DRINK WHEN:
Greg (Corbett) shouts, “Genevieve! Here’s some stuff that scares you!”
Take a look out for us at the end of February, as we guest on The Film Pasture Podcast!
THE OFFICIAL ALCOHOLLYWOOD ROMANTIC COMEDY BINGO CARD:
| Confession in the rain | Girl’s friends help make grand gesture | Parent Advice | Elaborate System for Handling Romance | Humorous Exchange with Waiter |
| Reaching for the same thing and touching hands | Love or Regret Montage | Arrogant/Jerky Romantic Rival | City Landmark | Accidental Nudity |
| Love at first sight | Hit in the face | FREE SPACE | Scene on a bridge | Feeding Each Other |
| Pratfall | Post-Coital Regret | Owns a Gimmicky Business | The “Big Client” | Sassy gay friends |
| Character Sings a Song | Restaurant Scene | Misinterprets Bad Thing | Impossibly Nice Apartment | Stop the Girl at the Airport |
Next week, we take a look at 2012’s Oscar slate as we make a drinking game and cocktail for the new Spielberg film Lincoln!
I was surprised at no callout of the scene where Vardalos raises her skirt right in front of Corbett’s restaurant while everyone inside stares. Like, she does it on purpose and then realizes people might notice her flashing her underwear everywhere. Such a weird, divorced from reality movie.