The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2012)

This week on Alcohollywood, Hausu and Mallrats guest Nick returns to help us endure the fresh, shiny hell that is 2012’s children’s movie flop The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure! “From the marketing genius behind Teletubbies,” as the trailer tells us, The Oogieloves introduces us to a hellish landscape in which three obnoxious, multicolored monsters (Goobie, Zoozie and Toofie) wander through Lovelyloveville to collect balloons from high place and drink junk food.

Along the way, they encounter a number of D-list washed-up actors (Cary Elwes, Chazz Palminteri, Christopher Lloyd, Cloris Leachman, Jamie Pressly, Toni Braxton and others), all hiding sneers of embarrassment at the ridiculous things they’ve gotta do. Guess you have to pay your mortgage somehow! The whole enterprise is a sloppy, silly mess, and not in the way children’s movies are supposed to be – it’s just creepy and desperate. Luckily, we’ll be here to help you adventurize with our custom cocktail and drinking rules – check them out!

LISTEN HERE OR DOWNLOAD:

THIS EPISODE’S DRINK: Adventurific Scientastic Sparkliciousness

handful, fresh or frozen strawberries
Ice
1 part absinthe
4 parts gin
2 parts cherry herring
2 parts orange liqueur
1 part rose water
4 parts orange juice
dash, rhubarb bitters

Throw all that stuff in blender; hit blend. Pour into glass of your choice and add tears to taste.

DRINKING RULES FOR THE OOGIELOVES IN THE BIG BALLOON ADVENTURE:

1. Whenever you see CG butterflies or turtles move across the screen
2. Every time you hear nonsense words (e.g. ‘fedorable’, ‘sparkliciousness’)
3. OBEY! (During the film, you will often be prompted to sing/dance/chant along with the characters as instructed. You must waterfall for every second you do not obey.)

FINISH YOUR DRINK WHEN:

Bobby Wobbly (Cary Elwes) shouts maniacally, “DO YOU LIKE BUBBLES?!”

Next week, we class up this here podcast a bit more with Alfred Hitchcock’s classic thriller, The Lady Vanishes!

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